Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
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