11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Having a random hookup so left but love u
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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