I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
