Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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