I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
