I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
