my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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