6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
