what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
