We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
