dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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