Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
