He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize