I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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