Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
