I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
