Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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