pedialite and red bull = repair kit
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
