her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
