why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
