haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
