Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
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