She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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