Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
