I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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