He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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