The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
