im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
