Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
