Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
