I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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