Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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