what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
ugly people sure do ruin things
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
