Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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