Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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