I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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