Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize