Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize