Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize