I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I'm lost and stupid without you.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
