So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
