Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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