I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
