I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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