I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
