I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize