talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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