please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize