I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
