Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
We are all done wearing pants today
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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