hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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