I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Even my vagina gasped.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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