How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Are my feet made of real feet?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
