Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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