I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize