I CAN MOONWALK!
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
