Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
