i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
