Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Randomize
