Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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